Let me ask you a question – what about a person impresses you? The person's success, monetary gain, ability to lift heavy weights, or even a witty personality? There are many qualities in a person to leave you speechless and amazed. To me, the kindness you present to not only the world but yourself is what impresses me the most. "Kindness, I think comes from learning hard lessons well, from falling and picking yourself up. It comes from surviving failure and loss. It implies an understanding of the human condition, forgives its many flaws and quirks. When I see that in someone, it fills me with admiration." – Lisa Unger …and it's true. You can have all the wealth and success in the world, but if you aren't kind, then I feel you're missing something in your life. Do you think differently about this? I'm open to other opinions, but this is what I believe. ACKNOWLEDGING AUTHENTIC KINDNESS
Authentic kindness comes from the nature of your heart. I believe your intent to be kind-hearted shapes from past experiences, present circumstances, and future hopes and aspirations of who you strive to become. What authentic kindness is not: Committing acts of perceived kindness that drives from inward motives. When you use selfish reasons to prompt a perceivable kind gesture, you won't ever feel the satisfaction of giving generously. The person with an egotistical view won't understand how to give generously to others, nor how to react when someone does a kind act towards them appropriately. Some do it for the image; some do it for personal gain. It could be insecurity for wanting to fit in, and the longing needs to feel a sense of belonging. This person puts on an appearance to make themselves look better, thinking it will make them feel better. Whatever the reason, it is valuable to spend time in self-reflection. Become aware of your actions. Gain a willing desire to change personal motives. Then act on it and follow-through. What is authentic kindness? The ability to give with no expectations. It is a gift in itself to feel the satisfaction of being able to give without any expectations or contingencies, knowing full-well that you took part in creating happiness for someone. You are exuding benevolence from your heart and onto others, whether it's a natural or learned behavior, with the intent behind generosity being pure and for the wellbeing of others. This person accumulates energy and personal satisfaction without wanting something in return. They don't feel the need to advertise the goodness they put out into the world. This person is ordinarily wise and genuinely cares for others. YOUR PAST: LEARN FROM IT, DON'T DWELL ON IT In the past, I have been blind to notice the negative impacts a person had on me. I chose to trust their word for what it was worth (no matter what they said or did – yikes) without looking at it from a completely objective perspective. I used to see the "good" in people, and it resulted in me overcompensating the "bad." Choosing to keep the less-than-great experiences at-bay, I view them as learning opportunities. Learning moments that I used to become who I wanted to be, by not making the same mistakes twice. This helped me see the negative experiences in life through a more optimistic lens, as the chance to foster my courage and self-confidence. Remove that toxic person (or people) or when you find yourself in those situations. There are several signs to look out for when faced with someone who is doing more harm in your life than good. I only state the following because I wish someone had laid out red flags for myself. Take it with a grain of salt, as this comes from my personal experiences. If you are experiencing blind hatred by someone in your life, the person (or people) in your life who is tearing you down could be: Letting their past dictate their current behavior. By holding onto their history, this person is asking to continue hurting themselves. As a result, they will be cutting the people around them. We all have experienced, good and bad. Some people hold onto their experiences to the point where it inflicts emotional or physical abuse onto others. They are expressing zero interest in bettering their wellbeing. This person has one of two approaches to developing personal growth: they don't need it, nor do they understand or care about the true meaning of it. By not caring enough about bettering who you are as a person, you will remain stagnant in your overall growth and development in all aspects of your life. You should strive to be better than you were yesterday because you want to live a happy, full, worthwhile experience. You will not achieve that by having zero interest in learning how to improve who you are as a person. Unaware of their words or actions. Even if they are aware, this person doesn't care about the impact they have on your life and are reckless with their speech. They say whatever they want to whoever they wish to without the consideration of how the other person feels. Selfish with their motives. These people build themselves up by consistently tearing you down with no remorse. If you were offered a promotion at work, hit your fitness goal, or appear to be happy in a relationship, they tear you down any chance given. You do not need nor deserve that kind of negativity in your life. They are limiting their understanding of reality. This person has no grasp on authentic emotions like "love" and "kindness," and unfortunately for them, they might not ever experience the true rooted nature (reword). They live a superficial life that might not ever prosper from meaningful relationships or pure happiness because they are always seeking it in others. You owe this person absolutely nothing. Listen to your gut. Walk away, for good, and do not look back. YOUR PRESENT: GROW FROM YOUR CURRENT SITUATION Present circumstances falter in and out of being positive and negative. I choose to tilt more to the positive side of life because whatever comes my way will happen anyway. You make it worse by retaining a negative cloud over your head. For me, I know I have many flaws. I also know that being kind and showing compassion is not a flaw, but unfortunately, so many people believe it is a flaw and a weakness. Sure, for some people being too kind can be perceived as wrong. I have read some useful blogs about this topic. Advice to take from your present circumstances: If you want to help someone, you help them. Be mindful of who you are kind to, don't let people walk all over you. Don't ever see kindness as a flaw, because it should never be misconstrued as such. There's a distinct difference between kind and being naïve. You do not owe anyone an explanation; as long as you know the truth in your heart who you are, your motives and reasons behind them. You don't need anyone else's validation or judgment. Being kind is a gift that you can freely share with anyone. It can brighten someone's entire day, week, month, etc. You have no idea what people are going through in reality, behind social media, and closed doors. We spend too much time focusing on an ideal image we want to portray ourselves as to the world on social media. While cultivating an online persona that many of us are not, the sight of what truly matters is lost. The foundation of building and maintaining a meaningful relationship should be kindness and respect, yet many lose their dignity for the opportunity to "get more likes and followers." It shouldn't be a surprise when someone treats you with kindness and respect, but it is. It shouldn't be an expectation to have someone act generously towards you. It is, and we sometimes even find ourselves getting angry when they don't do it. People want "kind" and "generous" acts to happen to them through a sense of entitlement, yet they don't want to give in return unless they see a personal gain from it. Who you right now determine what kind of relationships you have with all of the people around you. Do you get into arguments often? Are you easily angered? Do you feel like people are constantly disappointing you? Stop comparing. Put the social media on pause. Start opening up your eyes to the little and big adjustments you can make in your life to be authentically kind to others. Gain introspection, grow as a person, and allow others around you to grow with you. YOUR FUTURE: DEVELOP GOALS TO ENHANCE YOUR DAY-TO-DAY People can make bad choices. The choices made are not a reflection of who you are as a person, only a demonstration of who you were in the circumstances provided in that given moment. For the future, I suggest taking the time to think about your long-term and short-term goals. Who do you want to be five years from now? Two? How about in two weeks even? One goal I have for personal growth is learning how to be kind to unkind people. Even further, not allowing myself to feel emotionally charged when faced with arrogance or unpleasant behavior. Some may think responding is a waste of time, or that it is a sign of weakness. On the contrary, I believe expressing compassion and kindness is a sign of high strength. Not every argument is worth losing breath over, and you don't have to prove anything to anyone. I find strength in remaining composed during times where I'm internally screaming with frustration. At the same time, after the moment has ended, I feel a sense of pride and joy that I could not react out of emotion, but out of logic with an objective perspective. I firmly believe it is essential to treat people with kindness and respect – even if some classify that person as being less deserving. Though not secure, I think practicing random acts of kindness on a daily or weekly basis is grounds for making your world a better place. Create goals for yourself to implement acts of kindness monthly, weekly, and eventually daily. Maybe, just maybe, you'll see and feel a difference in your life for the better. RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS If you want help getting started to spread kindness around like confetti, check out RandomActsofKindness.org for some great examples and content. Below are a couple of my favorite ways to incorporate acts of kindness in my life (for others as well as myself): 1. Find out something new about a coworker 2. Write positive sticky notes 3. Text someone good morning or goodnight 4. Go to your favorite spot 5. Laugh often FINAL THOUGHTS -- Are you authentically kind to those around you? Let me know what YOU think. Message me or comment below. Learn from your past, grow from your present, and develop definite goals to make yourself a positive future. Most importantly, don't forget to radiate kindness with Mere Simplicity.
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Hi, I'm MeredithHey you! Welcome to my personal blog. Combining life lessons and bits of wisdom gained through my experiences. Feel free to leave comments & share the posts. Categories
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